By now you’ve probably seen the viral Coldplay kiss cam moment.

60,000 people ready to enjoy a lovely evening listening to music, lead singer Chris Martin has fun with a kiss cam and spots a a beautiful couple, arms around each other, sharing a moment…and then ducking in embarrassment to which Martin says “they are having an affair…or very shy. The crowd cheered—and the internet loved it…and their lives began to fall apart.

Why the outrage? Because we’re starving for real love. For integrity. For loyalty. Marriage is increasingly treated like a bad blockbuster movie that you can just return without remorse and pay a few late fees and move on with life.

I’m disgusted by infidelity. It’s the choice of cowards—those too afraid to face themselves or commit fully to another. But what encouraged me was the collective outrage online. It reminded me: people still care about the sanctity of marriage.

Too many marriages today are on autopilot. Just surviving until the kids are out of the house. Two lives under one roof, emotionally distant and resigned.

I blame men mostly.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that passivity, distraction, and self-indulgence are normal. But strength—true masculine strength—is defined by commitment, integrity, and the courage to stay present when things get hard.

If you’re a man reading this, let me say: you were made for more.

More than sports betting, more than doing all you can to stay away from your family, more than porn and substance addiction, more than gaming addiction - more than letting yourself go and more than making excuses.

Marriage isn’t a trap. It’s a calling. A mirror. A forge. If I wasn’t married, I’d be in a bad place.

I thought my marriage was a 10. Then I went to LifeApp about a year ago and realized how much deeper it could go. I’m 19 years in—and this is the happiest season we’ve ever had.

If I could speak to my newlywed self nearly 20 years ago, here’s what I’d say:

• Flirt more now than you did when you were dating.

• Take your wife on a date every. single. week.

• Take your health seriously—it affects everything, including intimacy and emotional availability and drive in life. That includes emotional health and trauma.

• Make your wife feel seen and heard - every day

• Lead with curiosity, not control - check your ego at the door

• Emotions are like glue in relationship - don’t avoid them

• Friends are Healthy - for you and her - make time for them, allow her to make time with her friends too

• Invite Something Higher In - Pray with her more, look to God for inspiration on sacrificial love and leadership

A few more thoughts on why our commitment to our life partner is so important - keep reading.

The cost of divorce

What is the real cost of rushing into a relationship? I was coaching someone recently and talking to them about why it’s so important to know what they are looking for in a woman. This guy is rich, good looking and full of potential. I told him the reason his priorities in finding a good woman are so important is because - if lust and attraction get in the way - the hormones and chemicals will keep him under the influence until its too late.

But let’s talk about this dude Andy Byron and his lover Kristin Cabot. I won’t bash on her, I hold men responsible for these things - so we will talk about him.

What did he gain from this affair?

Instead of applying discipline and sacrifice in his own home and making the change that was needed - he decided a fling and the flirting at work and the seductive nature of lust was more fun. When men stop thinking with their brain and let hormones take over, they don’t count the cost of these orgasms they think are so valuable with their new lover.

In this case the costs are:

He’s lost his career and salary for now (CEO/$500K+/year)

He may lose his equity in the company - ($12 million) - many clauses in employment contracts have infidelity in there. Why? Because if you can’t be trusted to be faithful to the partner you get to enjoy sex with, how can you be trusted by the ones who are your partners for making money - and no sex?!

He’s lost his reputation …for a while or forever

He’s lost his wife

He’s likely lost most of his friend group

He’s lost half of his net worth… which is tens of millions it sounds like ($25 Million)

He’s lost the comfort of his own bed

He’s lost the respect of his son and daughter

The data shows that in the midst of divorce kids are 2x more likely to drop out of school, 3x more likely to experience violence/instability, 4x more likely to suffer from mental illness.

Sons of divorce have a 35% higher divorce rate. Daughters have a 60% higher divorce rate.

His daughter now will doubt that her dad really loved her. What is love really? Can it just be thrown away? She will carry that baggage into her relationships in life.

I love the clip with Steven Bartlett and Mr. Wonderful about how divorce is so expensive - in so many ways. You work your whole life and in the prime of life usually - you lose half and have to start over.

All because of likely insecurities in his own life that hew as afraid to deal with and therefore felt the chemical addiction of an affair would mask nicely.

Marriage is the greatest invention ever - I’m happy to see people still know that deep down - and long for it to be held sacred. 

TO ANYONE DEBATING DIVORCE…AND THE TRUE COSTS… INVEST IN YOURSELF FOR TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS -FIND HEALING - BEFORE IT COSTS YOU HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DIVORCE.

My newsletter is getting some recognition - thanks to you 🙂 

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I’d love to hear about thoughts on this topic. 👋

I write this newsletter each week because I feel my best when my body, mind and soul are all healthy. I want the same for you. If you feel like you’ve seen something valuable here, please do me a favor and forward this newsletter to a friend or let me know what you think by replying or texting me - (310) 879-8441

I think happy couples make the world go round. I also believe men can do more to lead and love in their lives. In light of that, I have found the following four books to be the 4 books every man should read and every woman should want their man to read.

• Good Energy - What makes for a Healthy Body and Mind?

• The Masculine in Relationship - How to Win the Trust, Lust and Devotion of a Strong Woman

• The Man’s Guide to Women - The Science of Happy Relationships

• The Desire of Ages - Leadership in a World of Cowards

Here are a few other links to things that have changed my life:

Whoop - Track your HRV and REM Sleep

Function Health - Optimize Your Health via 100+ BioMarkers

Here are a few topics I think you’ll love if you haven’t checked them out before:

How to Breathe for Better Health

How to Supercharge Your Sleep

The Power of the Sauna

-Jared

P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.