The Curse of God or Something Else?

There I was, at a medical appointment, and the conversation begins. This kind, gentle practitioner asks me about my passion for health, my wife and…

Then she asks - Do you have any children?

I responded - I have a daughter about to turn six - she’s the joy of my life.

She responds - Oh….that’s nice.

I pause, now thinking - amazing how much us guys can think when we shut our mouths for a moment 🙂 but don’t get your hopes up - my big mouth is anxious to respond after thinking - This lovely lady sounds sad and I’m gonna be bold and maybe rude and assume the way she say (“Oh that’s nice”) is because she can’t have children….yet.

I respond - I’m guessing if you don’t have any kids yet there is a lot of pressure from your friends and family to do so?

She responds - maybe a little shocked I went there but seemingly happy that I did. She says “yea the pressure is real and my husband and I have been trying for years with no success. My friends are all having kids, my parents want grandkids, I desperately want to be a mom.”

It’s moments like this where I believe in a Greater Power that I call God who is a source of love and compassion. I was so happy that real life was happening in this moment and not silly mundane conversation about sports or the weather.

I told her my wife and I didn’t have a child until I was close to 40. That I knew the pressure was real. She expressed how she and her husband had been praying so much but weren’t sure why they couldn’t get pregnant. She didn’t know if it was God stopping her like stories from the Hebrew Scriptures or some environmental toxin or…or… it was driving her crazy thinking about why. The stress of it all was driving her crazy.

I did my best to encourage her, even sent her a book pretty much as an excuse to just send her a note of encouragement that God loves her and hasn’t forgotten about her and to not give up.

A weekly later I heard a friend and his wife were now pregnant - for the third time - the first two sadly ended in miscarriages.

A few weeks later I met a new friend who has a passion for fertility and I asked him if he’d been down the rabbit hold of trauma and infertility. He hadn’t. I have recently realized how impactful trauma is in our lives - in so many areas beyond just fertility.

This is an issue that is affecting more than 1 in 5 young marriages in America. So it influences the lives and emotions of men and women. So if you know someone - send this to them to bring them some tools to consider.

The Hidden Link Between Trauma and Infertility

Recent research reveals a strong connection between unresolved trauma—especially from early life—and reproductive challenges. If you’ve faced difficulties around conception, loss, or hormonal imbalance, it’s worth exploring how your story may be held in your nervous system.

The Science: Trauma and Fertility

• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) increase infertility risk. In one large-scale study, women with higher ACE scores were more likely to report trouble conceiving and needing medical help to get pregnant [1].

• Chronic stress disrupts the HPA axis, the hormonal system that regulates cortisol. This disruption interferes with reproductive hormones, reducing the chances of ovulation and sperm quality [2].

• Trauma leads to epigenetic changes—biological modifications that change how genes are expressed. These can impact fertility and even pass down generationally [3].

• Inflammation, a byproduct of trauma, may impair egg quality, uterine receptivity, or implantation. Chronic immune activation is increasingly recognized as a silent contributor to infertility [4].

• Mental health and fertility are intertwined. Studies show women with PTSD or unresolved trauma are twice as likely to experience infertility—even when other risk factors are controlled [5].

Sadly most of the research seems to paint this as a female problem as you can see above. The Handmaid’s Tale touches on this idea and shows it’s sometimes a male problem too. You could just as easily go through the above five issues and see how they influence men as well.

If Infertility is something you are curious of, keep reading below.

Common Arguments

“I don’t see how my past affects my body today.”

Trauma isn’t just emotional—it gets stored in the nervous system. Even without conscious memory, your physiology may be shaped by early events. A trauma-informed specialist can help identify subtle patterns.

“I don’t have time for therapy or meditation.”

Start small. Just 5–10 minutes a day of breathwork, prayer, or journaling can regulate your nervous system. Healing doesn’t require hours—just consistency.

“It’s uncomfortable to open up.”

Many feel this way at first. Look for trauma-informed practitioners who offer gentle, body-based approaches like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or integrative solutions. Healing doesn’t always begin with talking—it begins with safety.

Steps Toward Healing

• Seek trauma-informed care: Choose professionals who understand the link between trauma and fertility.

• Nourish your nervous system: Practices like breath work, vagus nerve exercises, and cold exposure may help rebalance stress hormones.

• Support your body: Eat an anti-inflammatory diet, prioritize sleep, and avoid endocrine-disrupting chemicals.

• Reclaim agency: Healing isn’t just about getting pregnant. It’s about restoring trust in your body and regaining your full health.

Your body remembers what your mind forgets. But with intention, support, and the right tools, healing is possible—not just for your fertility, but for your entire life. This book is the best I’ve read on this subject.

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I’d love to hear about your health journey. 👋

I write this newsletter each week because I feel my best when my body, mind and spirit are all healthy. I want the same for you. If you feel like you’ve seen something valuable here, please do me a favor and forward this newsletter to a friend or let me know what you think by replying or texting me - (310) 879-8441

I think the world is in desperate need of healthy, happy men who love the strong women in their lives with a self-sacrificing type of love.

I have found the following four books to be the 4 books every man should read and every woman reading this should want their man to read.

• Good Energy - What makes for a Healthy Body and Mind?

• The Masculine in Relationship - How to Win the Trust, Lust and Devotion of a Strong Woman

• The Man’s Guide to Women - The Science of Happy Relationships

• The Desire of Ages - Leadership in a World of Cowards

Here are a few other links to things that have changed my life:

Whoop - Track your HRV and REM Sleep

Function Health - Optimize Your Health via 100+ BioMarkers

Here are a few topics I think you’ll love if you haven’t checked them out before:

How to Breathe for Better Health

How to Supercharge Your Sleep

The Power of the Sauna

-Jared

P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.

References

1. Thoma ME, McLain AC, Louis JF, et al. Prevalence of infertility in the United States as estimated by the current duration approach and a traditional constructed approach. Fertil Steril. 2013;99(5):1324-1331.

2. Siever LJ. Stress, HPA Axis, and the Role of Cortisol in Reproductive Disruption. Neuropsychopharmacology. 2008.

3. Palma-Gudiel H, et al. Decoding the Epigenetics of Infertility: Mechanisms and Environmental Factors. Front Endocrinol (Lausanne). 2015;6:151.

4. Oostermeijer CM, et al. Inflammation and oxidative stress in infertility: a mini-review. J Reprod Immunol. 2020;140:103139.

5. Berga SL, et al. Stress and the Reproductive Axis. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2001;86(5):2537–2542.