How to Find More Joy

Are there really ingredients to happiness?

Author

Jared Thurmon
November 25, 2025 ā€¢ Estimated Reading Time: 8 minutes

Yea broā€¦

Thatā€™s my daughterā€™s favorite phrase lately.

But for many years I was convinced I didnā€™t want kids. I wanted to make a big difference in the world - and kids slow you down.

For many years, I felt like I wasted a decade of my life - 25-35. I should have been far more along the path of success, making more money, having more things. I know many young men in this age range who feel this way. Why? Because of social media - they see all those broā€™s with Ferraris and big booty girlfriends and flashing their crypto wallets - all those ingredients lead these young men to think ā€œIā€™m a loser, what am I doing with my lifeā€?

P.S. many of those bros have rented their supercars and girlfriends for the photoshoot.

But back to joy - what is it? Why does it so often seem elusive?

For too long, I thought joy came with stuff and experiences. Maybe I can only say thatā€™s not true because I have had the stuff and done the experiences and now know what brings joy.

So for anyone out there wondering - Iā€™ve bought the custom ordered manual six speed convertible sports car from Germany. I swam with the Great Whiteā€™s in South Africa. Iā€™ve played golf everywhere Iā€™ve wanted to. Iā€™ve seen many commas in my bank account. Got the accolades, the views, the clicks, the likes, the shares - BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Those have made for some great memories but they donā€™t deliver consistent joy.

What brings joy? 3 Thingsā€¦

Purpose, Progress and People

Let me explain.

Purpose

You gotta know why you want to get out of bed each morning. You gotta look forward to those feet hitting the ground. You gotta feel a little disappointment - like my daughter so often does - dreading going to sleep because life is so much fun.

For many of us, we need faith and the unseen to guide our purpose. For some we need to really dig into what we are good at, what we love, what we feel called to do and let that run up against your current life like a wave pounding into a ship. Your Ikigai is most important. I only write about health because you need health to live a joyful life. If you donā€™t love life - why on earth do you want to live longer if it is miserable?

Progress

What is a goal and vision or dream for your life without ways to measure if you are getting there. I am a new believer in measuring our wins along the way of life. I also think those small wins are worth celebrating. But you should make your life map not with one destination that you only will be happy when you get there. You need stops all along the way to celebrate the small wins, small habits that lead to your next stop. Iā€™m of the opinion now that you need to enjoy the ride, destinations, stops, exits, detours will happen - just enjoy the ride.

People

I saw a video the other day with this half nekkid ripped dude enjoying paradise - at some new fancy resort. I thought ā€˜wow that place looks awesomeā€™. Then I thought ā€˜wait that dude is aloneā€™!

Then it hit me - paradise will all its accoutrements and luxuries is HELL if we donā€™t have people there to celebrate with, to laugh with, to cry with, to hoot and holler with. ( I think that last line dated me as old)

People - the quality of our relationships is the secret sauce.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study on human health and happiness, has followed hundreds of people for more than 85 years and found one conclusion that outweighs all others: the quality of our close relationships is the strongest predictor of long-term health, emotional well-being, and longevity. Warm, supportive relationships protect both body and brain by buffering stress, reducing inflammation, improving sleep, and stabilizing the nervous system, while loneliness predicts earlier mortality on par with smoking or heavy alcohol use.

These ladies below currently occupy the top sources of joy in my life.

This was right before Ava enjoyed some cotton candy and then got dizzy on a ride and spewed her lunch all overā€¦

Takeaways: How to find more joy

#1 - Find Your Purpose

Get out in nature, by yourself. Pray, journal, think - or whatever it takes to really figure out what you feel called to do in this world and begin to put plans in place to taste of that purpose.

#2 - Make a Measurable Plan

Make a list of the habits and milestones that would help you measure whether you are on the right track.

#3 - Find Your People

Find people who see your vision, will encourage you on the way and want to somehow walk with you on their journey too. I find if people around me donā€™t have big dreams and ways to get there - we might not walk together too long.

I will stress you out and you will bore me šŸ™‚ 

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Iā€™d love to hear about your joy journey. šŸ‘‹

I write this newsletter each week because I feel my best when my body, mind and soul are all healthy. I want the same for you. If you feel like youā€™ve seen something valuable here, please do me a favor and forward this newsletter to a friend or let me know what you think by replying or texting me - (310) 879-8441

I think happy couples make the world go round. I also believe men can do more to lead and love in their lives. In light of that, I have found the following four books to be the 4 books every man should read and every woman should want their man to read.

Here are a few other links to things that have changed my life:

Whoop - Track your HRV and REM Sleep

Function Health - Optimize Your Health via 100+ BioMarkers

Here are a few topics I think youā€™ll love if you havenā€™t checked them out before:

-Jared

P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.

References:

Harvard Study of Adult Development ā€“ Harvard Gazette overview: