There are Health Benefits that come from Friendships

If social media has done one thing, it has given us short-term hits of satisfaction and delusions of grandeur that we have friends and all is well. But if you peel back that data, you will find that we live amidst the loneliest generation in history.

It’s easy to get in the groove and think that spending time with friends is a luxury, but planning memorable moments with your friends leads to better physical, and mental health and I would argue spiritual health too. Here are some studies to encourage you to make time for your friends.

• Reduced Stress Levels: Research shows that spending time with friends can reduce stress, lowering cortisol levels and promoting relaxation. Chronic stress contributes to conditions like heart disease and high blood pressure, so cultivating friendships offers a powerful buffer against stress. Studies show that supportive social interactions can decrease the stress response in the body, helping protect you from chronic disease.¹

• Improved Heart Health: Friendship has been linked to better cardiovascular health. People with strong social support are less likely to suffer from heart disease or high blood pressure.² Engaging in regular conversations with friends can help regulate blood pressure and even reduce inflammation, key markers in maintaining heart health.

• Boosted Immune System: Positive relationships can actually strengthen your immune system. A study found that people who feel socially connected are better able to fight off illnesses such as colds and flu.³ This is because good friendships help regulate the body’s immune response, promoting better physical health overall.

• Increased Longevity: Studies show that individuals with meaningful friendships are more likely to live longer. Having a strong social circle has been associated with a 50% increased likelihood of survival.⁴ Loneliness, on the other hand, has been linked to premature death, making friendship an important factor in living a long and healthy life. The longest-living people on earth are known for taking time each day to spend with friends.

• Improved Mental Health: Emotional support from friends helps reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Talking to friends can provide new perspectives, emotional release, and a sense of belonging. Feeling connected with others boosts serotonin and oxytocin, which are natural mood enhancers.⁵

People don’t have friends! But why?

Forgive my bluntness, but there’s a bet I would take on most people - they don’t have friends. Usually because they don’t make time for friends. Why? Because friendship is work. Friendship is especially hard for men. I don’t know why that is but men often expect their wives to be all things to them and that’s selfish and unrealistic.

A century ago, people made friends with those in their village. But today, we may have close friends who live 3000 miles away. What do you do in those moments? Find new friends?

My encouragement is to make time for friends. This means set a date, an event, a trip and go somewhere together for the weekend and make some memories together. This could only be once or a couple times per year - but those 48-72 hours together may be more than a one hour per week lunch meeting to check in on the rat race of life.

I have a tradition that for a 5-day stint each summer some friends and I go to play 36 holes of golf each day and every day for those 5 days. I consider those guys close friends and yet we don’t talk all through the year. But hours for hours - I may spend more time with those guys during that stint than others.

Ideally we would live close to our friends and hang out multiple times per week - but I think with interests being so varied these days - you may not sync with those you live closest to. Don’t let that be an excuse - plan a girls trip, plan a guys trip. Make the time to stay close to friends and life will be all the better because of it.

Takeaways: How do I make time for friends?

Despite the clear benefits, many people struggle to prioritize friendships in their busy lives. Below are some common objections and ways to overcome them:

• “I don’t have enough time.”

• Solution: Incorporate friendships into activities you already enjoy. Whether it’s a workout class or a walk in the park, inviting a friend to join you can make these experiences more enjoyable and efficient. Set a regular date where each week you spend time with a friend and put it on your calendar, just like you would for work or exercise.

• “I’ve lost touch with my friends.”

• Solution: Reconnecting doesn’t have to be difficult. Start small with a quick message or phone call. Zoom or Facetime or a text can bridge long distances. You may also find it refreshing to try new activities that introduce you to potential friends who share your current interests.

• “I don’t have the energy after a long day.”

• Solution: Not every interaction needs to be long or intense. Short, meaningful conversations can offer the same benefits as extended ones. Even sending a thoughtful message or meme or sharing a funny video can keep connections strong without draining your energy.

• “I’m too focused on family responsibilities.”

• Solution: Involve your family in your social life. Plan group outings with other families or connect with friends who are also parents. This way, you maintain friendships while staying present in your family life. I think the definition of wealth is vacationing with friends.

Integrating Friendships into Your Daily Routine

Fostering friendships is one of the most effective ways to invest in your health. By prioritizing connections, you not only enrich your emotional life but also improve your physical well-being. Even in a busy schedule, the benefits are too significant to ignore.

Love to hear your thoughts on friendship and how you make time for it. 👋

I’m always looking for feedback. What would you like for me to cover? Anything in the newsletter you like or want to see more or less of?

Here are a few topics I think you’ll love if you haven’t checked them out before:

How to Breathe for Better Health

How Self-Doubt Can Become Your Superpower 

How to Supercharge Your Sleep

The Power of the Sauna

Forgiveness May Be Your Missing Ingredient

-Jared

P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.

¹ Uchino, B. N. (2006). Social support and health: A review of physiological processes potentially underlying links to disease outcomes. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 29(4), 377-387.

² Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLOS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

³ Cohen, S., Doyle, W. J., Turner, R., Alper, C. M., & Skoner, D. P. (2003). Sociability and susceptibility to the common cold. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(2), 278-281.

⁴ Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227-237.

⁵ Cruwys, T., Haslam, S. A., Dingle, G. A., Haslam, C., & Jetten, J. (2014). Depression and social identity: An integrative review. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 18(3), 215-238.