How you think and process emotions - is everything!

• We are what we think - the brain believes what we tell it - for better or for worse. King Solomon says it best - “As a man thinks, so is he”

• Persistent negative thoughts and emotions are strongly linked to the development and exacerbation of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety.

• Negative thoughts and emotions can weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections and diseases.

• There is a well-established link between negative psychological states and the risk of developing chronic physical conditions, such as heart disease, hypertension (high blood pressure), and diabetes.

If you’re ready to bury negative thinking and self-doubt, take a few minutes to read how below.

My Greatest Weakness

Is this the best use of your time?

That was a question that I found myself asking – all the time! If I was playing with my little girl, on a date with my wife, speaking in front of a group of people, at work, at play, on the golf course, reading my bible – you name it, I was always asking this question – or felt like I was being asked this question internally. I thought it was my conscience just trying to keep me focused and honed and sharp. But if you NEVER have peace that you are using your time wisely then you are constantly bombarded by the spirit of doubt and you feel hopeless.

That was my life until a few months ago. I now believe it was not the voice of Conscience but instead the voice of the Spirit of Doubt. (for those who believe in the spirit world, I think this would be the job of a demon with the gift of sowing doubt)  

As I have had some time to process why I was so confused about the source of this question, I think it comes from a place of trauma. I didn’t grow up with this thought – it started about a decade ago. Does your inner voice come from a place of trauma?

My trauma was likely rooted in this: I was talking to my friend, who was also my business partner, who was also my father on a Sunday morning over a decade ago imagining our next adventure only to get a call when I landed a few hours later that he had died in a car accident.

It made me realize how fragile life was - that tomorrow is not guaranteed. But rather than living life with intentionality and peace, I began living in fear and concern that if today was my last day of life – was this thing I was doing at this moment – the BEST use of my time? If I died tomorrow in an accident, which had happened to two childhood friends and my father, what was the point of what I was doing today? Was it making a difference? I should just work frantically so that I have no regrets – and that pace nearly killed me.

Self-doubt is toxic and if you don’t have peace, you are just bringing your baggage into every room and relationship in your life.

Question: What is your greatest emotional weakness? What is that inner voice telling you that is not building you up but instead is breaking you down? Identify it – talk to those you love about it – and then move to step 2 below – turn it into your superpower.

My Superpower

But what if your doubt could become your superpower? For me, that happened recently during one of the most impactful weekends of my life.

I was confronted with the reality of that inner voice. I realized it was robbing my life of all my joy. Perhaps you can relate. If you always think your clothes don’t fit right, your speech isn’t sharp enough, or your career isn’t where you think it should be – then you know that voice can be relentless.

So, I realized I had a problem and the only way to fix it was to be intentional about how I spent my time. I live and die by my calendar and so I thought if I build my routine around an abundant life where I care for my health and make time for my relationships – I can do my best work and live my best life.

So, for me, it was living with more intentionality. Rather than doubting if I’m using my time correctly – I now know I am using every minute as I have planned realizing life may throw some curveballs – but it’s made all the difference. Now I can ask – if I live like this what will be the result if I die tomorrow or in thirty years?

My answer – I won’t have regrets.

I decided how to spend my time today before today. I’m not reacting to life, I’m the one making the most of my days so that I have no regrets. There is something in your life you know is holding you back, what are the habits and routines you would need to do over the next few months to result in being in an entirely new place?

My Greatest Fear

My greatest fear was that I was wasting time. It has become my greatest strength – there is no time to waste. Don’t take tomorrow for granted. Stop borrowing trouble, worry, and anxiety from a future bank account of time that is not even yours to spend yet. 

Question: What would it look like if you conquered this inner voice that is full of negativity, throwing fear and doubt your way at every turn? Would you be able to help others who are falling into the same trap? Could it be the secret to your superpower?

Takeaway: 3 Ways to Turn your Weakness into your Superpower

For some of us, we are trying to heal from trauma, overcome fear, and get rid of doubt by just thinking it away. But thoughts and feelings are chemicals – they can’t be thought rid of – you must do something actionable to overcome them. Here are some actionable ideas. 

1 – Physical

There is increasing evidence that optimal physical health is key to overcoming psychological issues. Thoughts and feelings produce chemicals and bad thoughts and negative emotions cause corrosive harm to your body.

So, what do you do? What if you cut out the bad habits you know aren’t life-giving – first, identify those and then replace them with better habits.

For example – Alcohol isn’t making your life better. Fast foods and processed foods are not making you healthier. Staying up late watching Netflix isn’t bringing abundant joy into your life the next day.

What if instead, you gave yourself a week to see if you feel better by trying to go to bed earlier, finding a way to sweat more i.e. sauna or exercise, eating more fresh foods, drinking more water to cleanse the body, taking time to breathe for a few minutes each day?

If you are flooding your body with what it needs to operate optimally i.e. fresh water, fresh air, nutrients – you will slowly but surely find your body ridding itself of toxins – both physical toxins and emotional toxins. The safest way to detox the body is through the channels of elimination i.e. into the toilet and out of the mouth/nose and sweat through the skin.

2 – Mental

This is going to sound easier said than done. You need to rewire your conscious and subconscious mind.

Your brain believes what you tell it. The first thing you can do is to make time each day to begin to go through all that you are grateful for, all that you love about life, relish in the joy of your life – make no time for negativity. You wouldn’t talk to your friends the way you talk to the person in your mirror – You wouldn’t talk to your 6-year-old self that way - so maybe it’s time you stopped.

But the next step is doing this with no distractions. This is where that adage – calm the body and you will calm the mind – is so important. I’m a big believer that you must do the physical things above before you jump into the mental.

There is so much science on the benefits of yoga but the more I read, the more I see the biggest benefits are from taking the time to breathe slowly and having good posture while you do it.

For example: Deep breathing meditation has been reported to decrease anxiety, nervousness, and self-doubt, and help manage stress (Paul, Elam, & Verhulst, 2007).

If you can take 10-15 minutes to sit down, close your eyes, and breathe slowly in and out, the science of what can happen in your brain is profound.

There is a popular belief about emptying the mind, which I’m not a fan of, but instead fill it with gratitude for all that you have, not negative with all that you aren’t. 

If you can help your body relax, you will find the brain waves begin to change. They can go from Gamma to Beta to Alpha to Theta and then that’s where you can begin to rewire your brain and deal with negative emotions that have haunted you for a while. 

I also think this is why this is such a fragile area – With guided meditation, you are placing your subconsciousness into the hands of another person. Hypnotism etc. goes down this rabbit hole along with drug-induced states etc. I just don’t think that’s taking responsibility – it’s easily manipulative to your soul honestly.   

3 – Spiritual

I had a friend a few months back describe a profound experience. He was in a float tank – basically floating in the dark in salt water with no sound – you feel like you are floating. I’ve done it. It’s otherworldly. I came out more relaxed than any massage I’ve ever done.

Your brainwaves slowly move through the stages above. But what he said was that he realized he had been holding onto anger and hurt and frustration against God and that he had to do something he had never heard of – forgive God!

So many of us, whether we admit it or not are holding a grudge against a power greater than us. Some of us still call that power God, and some of us have felt such pain and trauma that we don’t even want to say that name so we say Universe or declare there is no greater power out there than ourselves.

Another area is forgiving a fellow human – perhaps the most god-like act a human can do. If there is someone in your life who has wronged, you – and I’m sure there is – you are killing yourself by not forgiving them and evicting those emotions from the hotel of your mind. You can’t keep letting people live rent-free in your head when they bring you no joy. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to or can forget. But it’s a rite of passage if you want to find your best health.

By taking responsibility and being proactive rather than being reactive - you can overcome negative thoughts, and your life will change for the better.

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P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.