Forgiveness may be the Missing Ingredient

How Forgiveness is a gift for your own health!

• Reduction in Stress Levels: A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that individuals who practice forgiveness experience lower levels of stress and, consequently, better health outcomes[1].

• Heart Health: Research in the American Journal of Cardiology reveals that forgiveness is associated with improved heart rate and blood pressure, essential markers of cardiovascular health[2].

• Enhanced Mental Well-being: According to research in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, forgiveness is linked to a decreased incidence of mood disorders, highlighting its role in mental health[3].

• Improved Relationships: A forgiving attitude contributes to healthier and more sustainable relationships, fostering a supportive environment conducive to overall well-being.

The Transformative Power of Forgiveness in Your Health Journey

I’ll never forget it. My dad had gone to the Mayo Clinic, NIH, Emory, and any expert he could find. It all started while we were at Augusta for the Masters. (Phil one that year 🥳) We were walking around adult Disneyland aka Augusta National, and all was bliss - not one piece of pine straw was out of place and the azaleas were popping. But my dad started complaining about a pain in his head and neck.

It wasn’t until a few days later that he learned he had dissected his right carotid artery. That started a multi-year journey with anyone and everyone that would look at him. Finally, they found tumors on his adrenal glands - Pheochromocytoma tumors.

For one reason or another, they were so small that they weren’t operable.

He was told to go home and get his affairs in order. But he still had too much will to live.

So he began to search for anyone who had been faced with death and found another way. He found a friend who had beaten Stage-4 Breast Cancer.

She told him to go to this small wellness center out west.

He went for the first session at this wellness retreat - which lasted 3 weeks. There was lots of juicing, lots of exercise, lots of good sleep - but the one thing he told me about was that the physician leading the lectures kept harping on this idea of forgiveness.

He was told that healing won’t take place if you are holding on to the toxic emotions of holding a grudge or anger and not forgiving someone who had wronged you. But it went further. He said “and if you’ve wronged anyone, someone - you need to go to them and ask for their forgiveness.”

Ouch!

Forgiving is one thing but asking for it is a whole different animal. There’s just the whole swallowing a lot of pride issue that seems to get in the way.

But he took it to heart. He wanted to live. It started with family, then friends, then contractors whom he had felt he was fair but realized he didn’t practice the golden rule with.

One by one he found peace in all relationships in his life.

He went back to this place - again - and again - and again - five or six times. Until somehow the new scans revealed the tumors were gone.

I think there are more of us than we would care to admit who are holding on to grudges or wrongs we have done or that have been done to us and just a simple text, email, or phone call - a short conversation would clear the air, and bring peace back into the relationship and likely better health for us as a result.

Anticipated Objections and Solutions

While the benefits are clear, integrating forgiveness into our daily lives is challenging. I’ve heard a few objections so I’m going to propose some strategies to overcome them:

1. "Forgiving feels like condoning the wrong."

It’s for you, not for them. Understand that forgiveness is for your peace, not an exoneration of the other's actions. It's about letting go of the burden, not diminishing the wrong. Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you have to be best friends.

2. "I'm not sure how to forgive."

Start small. Reflect on minor grievances and consciously decide to let them go. I also think it’s important to consider things you’ve done that someone graciously overlooked. Over time, this practice can be applied to more significant issues.

3. "Ain’t nobody got time for this."

This is a war in the heart that you must win if you want to live a long healthy and happy life. Incorporate forgiveness into existing routines. I would encourage you to make the issue a matter of prayer and ask for supernatural intervention - sometimes we can’t do things on our own and we need assistance. I would also say it can be healthy to talk to a friend or someone you trust about the matter.

Incorporating Forgiveness into Daily Life

1. Daily Reflection: Dedicate a few minutes each day to reflect on instances where you may harbor resentment and consciously decide to release these feelings or make them a matter of prayer if it’s not that easy for you.

2. Journaling: Write about your feelings and the process of letting go. This can be a therapeutic exercise that fosters forgiveness.

3. Seek Support: Sometimes, talking to a counselor, coach or a trusted friend about your intent to forgive can provide valuable perspectives and encouragement.

In an era where the focus on health is paramount, it's crucial to recognize that well-being extends beyond diet, exercise, and good sleep. Forgiveness, an age-old virtue, emerges as a key player in the quest for a healthier, more fulfilled life. By embracing forgiveness, I can tell you from firsthand experience that you are investing in a practice that nourishes your mind, body, and relationships, paving the way for a holistic sense of wellness - and happiness.

WARNING HARD QUESTION: Is there someone in your life you need to forgive or ask for forgiveness from?

It’s easy to write and talk about this but it’s much harder to bring it into your life. I’d love to hear from you if you’ve got a story of applying this in your life or why you’re struggling to forgive someone right now.

-Jared

P.S. - This newsletter does not provide medical advice. The content, such as graphics, images, text, and all other materials, is provided for reference and educational purposes only. The content is not meant to be complete or exhaustive or to be applicable to any specific individual's medical condition.

[1]: Journal of Health Psychology, "The impact of forgiveness on cardiovascular reactivity and recovery," 2019.

[2]: American Journal of Cardiology, "Forgiveness and Heart Health: A Correlational Study," 2020.

[3]: Journal of Counseling Psychology, "The Relationship Between Forgiveness and Mental Well-being," 2021.