Daddy Issues - good or bad? Guy problem or girl problem?

Most guys when they hear this term think of some girl who had or has some major baggage from her childhood that makes just about every moment of interaction with her like playing Russian roulette.

But what about guys? Do guys have daddy issues?

Dudes and Dads

I’ve come to really enjoy following Codie Sanchez on Twitter. She is a serial entrepreneur and a go-getter unafraid to be a contrarian. She recently shared a tweet about this topic:

So clearly dudes have daddy issues too. But why? I saw a clip of Joe Rogan a few weeks back where he shared the idea “show me a great man who is the son of a great man.”

Solomon was given the keys to the kingdom from his father David and yet fails to be a great man. The story is repeated over and over. Often it is the struggle of overcoming the odds that leads men and women to dare greatly and accomplish big dreams. But then they often want a better childhood for their kids than they had - and they spoil or lavish them with all they never had not realizing that most of the time its ruining that kids life.

Continuing that same story above - when rich, wise King Solomon finally dies and the wealth and kingdom are handed to his son - Rehoboam - he has no idea what struggle is, no idea what hard work is, he doesn’t listen to the wise counsel of his elders who had seen the rise and fall of his father - and so he listens to his peers - likely also kids that grew up with a lot of money and privilege and didn’t know discomfort. Here’s a great book on why we have a comfort crisis.

So why all these folks with daddy issues? Because for the most part, men - dads - are not living up to their full potential. They can get caught up giving all of their masculine energy, passion and love to their favorite team, favorite numbing agent of choice, or addiction like porn or video games. This translates to neglect in the home. Daughters don’t see a dad lavish their mom with affection. They often don’t see a dad who puts his family first.

To those men who are dads right now, its never too late to bring your dad score back to par for the course. Apologize if needed, seek coaching if needed, find accountability and do all you can to be the dad you want to be or the dad you never had.

But to those who still have daddy issues - and clearly that is a common ingredient to successful men (and women I would guess) with the desire to prove their dads wrong per that tweet above - The best way you can prove your dad wrong is to be the best example of a dad you could possibly be. But the best thing you can do for yourself is to keep that drive alive and yet not kill yourself in the process. Forgiveness is a hard task - but it’s liberating.

Ask yourself this - did your dad have the model childhood and upbringing? Did he know what an amazing father was supposed to look like? You weren’t there so you really don’t know. But give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if he was absolutely terrible to you, forgive him, act differently and show the world what a model parent is like.

I’d love to hear your story and I hope your pain is a path that ultimately leads to bringing pleasure into other people’s lives.